1 month old

Yes I am still alive :)

Wow now that is an insanely long amount of time to not post an update.

So I will recap in a nutshell and hope to post on a regular basis now!

My pregnancy was uneventful and I enjoyed every minute if it!

Had placenta previa so C-section was a must.

Quit working at the firm when I was 8 months along and have not missed it at all!

Spent the last month of pregnancy working on the nursery and dreaming of my baby!

On November 27, 2011 had Baby Ian....7lbs 4oz and 21"...I was 38 weeks along.

I have added pics....enjoy!!!

Pic #1-my belly before C-section
Pic #2- Ian's Nursery
Pic #3-Ian!!!!

Ian's Big Day

Some purchases finally!!!!

I have waited years literally to start buying baby items!! So it goes without saying that I had an abnormal need prior to pregnancy to research and decide what I wanted even before I was preggo. Its funny how you form a picture in your mind of how you want everything to look exactly.

Well I am 18 weeks along and figured that it was time to get to ordering!!

I love the website Etsy. It has the most beautiful baby items and the best part is they are all hand made. I ordered some burp clothes. Here is a pic:

I also ordered and received the baby's bassinet. J still needs to put it together. Oh and my oldest daughter said that it looked like something from a Russian orphanage...guess her younger sister will have dibs on it!

And I ordered the baby bouncy thing. I am amazed at the items they have for baby's ...I want an adult one of theses!!

17 weeks today and its a BOY!!!!

17 weeks already. Holy cow I have so much to get done and time is just flying by. I have just begun to get some energy back and the morning sickness is pretty much gone. We had our gender scan last week and it was clearly a little boy who is not shy about his ding-ding! I really thought that it would be a girl. I'm super excited to be having a son, it will be a completely different experience for me.

We are going to buy the paint for the nursery this weekend. I plan on doing everything in white, cream and beige. I want a really calm room. I have almost everything picked out. It took almost three years to have this little guy so I have had plenty of time to research everything. I would love to have the whole room completed by 30 weeks so I can relax and enjoy the nursery for the remaining time.

We will be going o vacation the first week in August so it will be the last until the baby is close to being a year old.

My belly is big already and I am starting to toss and turn at night. But I'm not complaining it has all been wonderful!!!!

12 Weeks today!!!

It has been a while since I have posted. I cannot believe how fast the weeks are passing. A quick update of the past weeks. After finding out we had 2 babies we went back for another ultrasound 2 weeks later and we saw two heartbeats...so sweet and they also discovered a third empty sac. That was a little scary!! The doctor found a good heart rate on baby A but baby b was an unreadable rate but still a flickering heart. He released me to my OB and said I was not out of the woods yet......jeez lighten up. I had my first ob appt at 9 weeks. They did a ultrasound as soon as we arrived. I was so nervous. I guess I knew that there might be a chance of no baby b. The ob only found one viable baby...baby A. Baby B had already begun to be absorbed....I hate to think of it that way. The third sac was still empty. Needless to say I was stunned and for a while I thought that maybe she just did the us to fast and missed b.

We were scheduled to come back for the nt scan at 11 weeks...something new to worry about! Turns out our little babies fold is perfect and he was face down with his arms and legs moving.....so cute!! J and I smiled all day about it!!

Today I am 12 weeks and feeling so thankful to have reached this point. We go back in four more weeks for the gender scan...how fun!!!!!!

TWINS!!!!!!!

Here's a  few pics of our 2 little beans!!!

Overdue for a posting!

Wow I've been really bad with keeping up with this blog. So I will sum it all up as quickly and briefly as possible. We had our retrieval which went very smoothly and produced 22 eggs! Not bad for a 42 year old! Of the 22 only one was discarded due to abnormalities. The others all had ICSI preformed on them the same day as retrieval. The following day 18 had fertilized. We made it to transfer with 5 excellent embryos all of great quality. The doc suggested transferring all 5 the embryologist leaned towards 4 and J wanted to do 1!!!! So of course the RE's persistence won out and we did all 5. He assured J that no one my age in his practice ever got knocked up with more than twins. Not sure how comforting that was for my poor husband. After the RE left J announced he would personally come back and kick his *ss if I was an anomaly!!! I was on bed rest for three days. My parents came up from southern Florida to help and it was wonderful. I didn't have to cook or clean or walk the dogs.....AWESOME.

After about a week I started to blow up like a balloon in my abdomen. I was having trouble taking a full breath and was drinking a ton but only peeing a drop. We eventually had to go to the ER that night because I started to have alot of trouble breathing and a burning sensation in my belly. They did an US and it showed massive amounts of fluid in my abdominal cavity. The doc asked if I could be pregnant? You think? I just told you I did IVF and J had to explain to you what it was!! They drew some blood for a pregnancy test and as we waited J stated he wished we would have gotten the doctor that at least got a B in Med school! Doc came back a few minutes later and state I was pregnant!!! He said go see your fertility doctor because we are not touching you. We then drove 2 hours to my RE's clinic and as soon as they saw the size of my tummy they freaked. They did blood work and sent me to be drained....yes drained! I had a lovely needle placed in my belly and out came 3 liters of apple juice looking yuck. I stayed in the hospital that day and night to be monitored and went home the next day.

Fast forward a week and I am being tapped again. Fun, Fun. Luckily I have had no other fluid build up since and am feeling somewhat like myself again! We go in for our first US tomorrow morning and I am so nervous.

BTW we had 3 frosties make it to blast stage and are now keeping each other company in freezer :)

Maybe too many eggs?????

How is that even possible? I'm 42 for the love of God!

Anyways US yesterday showed a total of 43 follicles of which 14 are mature (over 15mm) and my E2 was 3200!

I am hoping that after this mornings US they will let me trigger tonight and schedule retrieval for Wednesday.

I am scared they will cancel me now due to possible OHSS..hopefully not!!

Worried...nervous...stressed

I have eggs..I have eggs....I have eggs!

Well medically speaking I have follicles which may or may not contain eggs. Had my second ultrasound this morning and I was very worried that I might have possibly over suppressed with the Lupron having never taken it before. And add that in conjunction with 6 weeks of BC pills and I thought my ovaries would have shut down for a long time. I did everything in slow motion this morning even getting undressed for the ultrasound. Its funny how the tech can be the person you love the most at the moment, or the sight of her makes you sick depending on the news.

So my lining is 8.5 which is good since I've had 2 visits from AF due to the Lupron. And I have 3 follicles on each ovary measuring between 10-12 with a bunch trailing behind. I am so happy!!! I was just praying for at least enough to get me to retrieval. Fingers crossed my E2 is climbing and I just might have a shot at this after all.

BTW thank goodness I had a good appt the lady in front of me had a trail of US pictures coming out of the techs room. Then she proceeded with "I have a question? Is my BABY here in the same position as this picture of my BABY?" Ok lady we all got it. Your having a baby!!! If you repeat it one more time I will honestly scream *uck you!!!!!! After my US another lady getting her blood taken is gushing on about her positive pee sticks the last 3 days...."lines were so dark...maybe more than one...do you think?" I think you should wait on your beta and keep it down because you are ruining my moment of happiness over my 6 little eggs!!!!!!

I called J to give him the report. "What only six...you had 22 for the IUI??? I had to explain that was at the time of HCG, we have just started with the stims on this one. Oh ok ....so I recount my story with the 2 annoying prego ladies and my sweet J says you should be happy for them and that I would have a banner flying if it were me. He of course is completely right. I would probably sit down with anyone in the waiting room and share my US pictures. I guess I can look at it also as my doc being so good at what he does that people are popping up pregnant left and right!

So much for cool, calm, and relaxed!

That was my plan for these upcoming two weeks. Alot of laying around doing nada. Well so far my plan has been a major failure. My poor daughter M had to have emergency surgery on her appendix on Thursday. Have I ever mentioned when either of my girls are sick I am a raving lunatic. My oldest daughter N said that they should have sedated me on Thursday along with M !! So true. I remember when they were young and the very few times they became ill I was unbearable to be around...I just wanted them better!!!! So on top of the surgery I squeezed in my US appt the following morning at the crack of dawn. J stayed home with M....he's the best! Had my blood drawn then followed my date with the probe....yuck I will never get use to that thing. My lining was good but she still saw some fluid. Then came cyst one and two...one on each ovary. They were small and the tech said....well they could be follicles...not really sure. HUH...are you serious...do ya think we could figure it out? I'm pretty sure that makes a big difference. Jeez so they send the pics over to the doc for review. Nurse calls back that evening and says to start stims! I'm so overjoyed I don't even bother to ask about my cysts/follicles. So I begin my stims reduce my Lupron and...............................

BLEEDING on Sunday and Monday....wtf??????? I am completely freaking out at this point. I leave a message for my nurse and wait. Well not actually wait...I google...bad idea. I know how bad it is to try to find an answer online but I cant help myself. I need an answer now! What if they cancel me? As soon as I took that first stim injection on Friday this counts as one try towards our multi-cycle attempts. Shit...Shit....Shit

Nurse calls back...its normal...from the Lupron...its just a nuisance really she states.

Nuisance....I almost had a break down in front of a client as I am going over his legal documents. Poor chap was so excited about the new hanger he was buying and all I could think about was I am bleeding which means my lining is getting thinner and it should be getting thicker..argggg Mr. Hanger man I do not care about your planes...I WANT A BABY!!!!

And so I wait..............

Its Tuesday and the big day(big day so far) is Friday for my baseline ultrasound and possible start of stims!
My stomach is black and blue from the Lupron shots and also my legs are in the same condition thanks to a friendly neighborhood bulldog. I'm quite a lovely sight! J and I have finished taking our antibiotics. Not much to post on...ready to get this show on the road.

I went to a website yesterday which is suppose to predict your actual chances of having IVF work..yeah should have stayed away from that one. I plugged in all my info/stats and I have a 14.7% chance....are you *ing kidding me. Think it was my age that did me in. So of course I had to tinker and tweak it a little. So I look young and I still have eggs according to my RE so I skimmed five years off my age and...........................

29.4% chance

Here is the link if anyone is interest. A friend from another site posted it.

http://www.ivfpredict.com/index.html

No more................

Here is my list of NO MORE's

Birth control pills (finished last one yesterday)
Coffee ( I had a constant headache for the first 4 days)
Tea (love my organic green mint tea..)
Raw food
Ice
Bare feet (not a big deal..I'm to OCD to walk around barefooted)
Soda
Hot baths (this is killing me..I'm taking lukewarm baths and they suck)
Running

And here is my list of MORE'S

Prenatal vitamins (the lingering after taste is enough to make you barf)
Lipoic Acid (recommended by my embryologist)
Co Q 10 (again embryologist)
Doxycycline (fight infection)both J and I (btw J has been sick since starting them)
Lupron
Protein
Acupuncture(twice a week)


So I have everything all organized as far as what time to take which meds/pills/shot and I am certain that now that I am comfortable they will change it up on me.

I have another week of Lupron and then my baseline US. Not to stressed about it.

We opted for a multi-cycle program. We get 4 tries...2 fresh IVF cycles and 2 FET's. So I have resigned myself to 2 IVF's if we are lucky and a sheer miracle if we have anything to freeze. I had a time attempting to figure out exactly what is considered a cyle for the program we are enrolled in. Of course I went round and round with them prior to enrolling. I do work for a law firm after all and know how all the juicy stuff is in the fine print. So after numerous phone calls and emails...because of course I want it in writing.....they finally admitted that a cycle begins at stim injections not lupron. So I can be cancelled after my US and it would not count as a cycle but once I start injecting the gonadtropins its considered a cycle. So even if I only have one egg I'm going to retreival darn it!!!!!

OUCH!!!!

I mailed the IVF money and contract this afternoon!!!!

Acupuncture and Medicine

Had my first two acupuncture appointments last week and it was strangely relaxing and felt productive. The embryologist at our fertility clinic highly recommends acupuncture throughout the IVF process. So I called who she recommended and made an appointment. It was very very quite in the clinic and it seemed everyone moved gracefully and with purpose..strange. So I had my first treatment on my lower back while Dr Whang (yeah that's his name) proceed to tell me:

No raw food, No coffee, No soda, No Ice, No ice cream, No cold food
Keep feet warm (warm feet...warm uterus) I giggled at this..Whang was not amused.
No get sick ( I'm using Dr.Wangs voice if you haven't noticed)

So after my session I promptly drove home feeling limp and like I had just finished a stint at a rehab clinic. I slept for three hours it was bliss. Dr Whang insisted that I come back the following morning for another session and surprise surprise I lapsed into another 3 hour coma afterwards....needless to say I'm kinda digging this acupuncture thing.

All of my drugs were delivered also. Good Golly Miss Molly it was enough to fill a pharmacy! We have Lupron,Bravelle, Menopur, HCG, Endometrium, Estrogen Patches,Valium, Doxycycline,and an anti- inflammatory in a pear tree!

Did I mention we are doing IVF with ICSI and Assisted Hatching...how could this elaborate scheme not possibly work I ask myself.

Here"s a picture of my choo choo train of meds.

Day at the Hospital

So we spent the whole day at the hospital today getting everything in order for our IVF.

The schedule went like this:

9am          Conference with Office manager
                (translation.... money talk...notice how they schedule this first)
930am      Embryology class
1130 am   Mock Transfer- A and Back up Sperm Sample-J
Lunch       We went to Mellow Mushroom
                 (apparently we need all the mellow we can get....)
200pm      Injection class

Wow it was alot to take in but it answered so many of my questions. My poor husband had to suffer through it all (well except for the sample part). I was nuts about the embryologist she has a ton of experience and some great success rates. She took the time to explain everything to us. I had read up on all the latest technologies that most of the better clinics employ and was glad to discover that they our the first in the area to use many of them. Poor girl next to J and I  had absolutely no clue what was going on.....how can you be so misinformed when you are dropping this kind of money? J and I joked that we hope they do not mix up my eggs and hers!


Here's a pic of the Hospital.

Feb 2, 2011

Not much happening .....waiting for the days to pass so we can begin this process! I have officially watched every Baby Story ever taped and have now moved on to Bringing Home Baby! I am truly a crazed woman at this point. All I ever really think about is baby, baby, baby! I go to Target and some how magically appear in the baby section. I can tell you exactly what aisle anything baby is found in! Btw I must have the grass thingy that hold bottles while they dry and that frog pod for the tub. Think that's crazy I have the BRU site mastered as well....sad...sad...sad. Oh and the HGTV rate my space nurseries...I have marked all my favorites for future use. I have an enormous tub of absolutely beautiful girl baby clothes that my sis has given me..thanks V!!! The baby gap went out of business and my youngest daughter and I stopped by so she could pick up a few things for her good friends baby (yeah that doesn't make me feel old) and I fell in love with these small little PJ's. M said that I should but them...that maybe that would bring me luck...I bought them!

Here is a  picture of each of my girls....I love being their mom!

January 30, 2011

We are off to do our bloodwork in the morning. Thankfully my husband J's insurance covers the cost. Who knew that blood tests could run upwards of 2K just to get the IVF process going. Poor J was griping about the needle......they have it so rough....one blood test and a trip to the happy room for the contribution....jeez this is why men do not give birth! All joking aside I never get any complaints from my sweet guy...heres a picture of us btw!

January 25, 2011

Just returned from ladies night at Melting Pot with my youngest daughter "M". It was a great time. Talking, laughing and just relaxing. Much needed after several phone calls for all my IVF scheduling. I will update in more detail later but right now I need to injest my poisionous birth control pill......

January 23, 2011

So as I wait for IVF to begin I do what I always do when I'm tackled with a challenge. I read, read, and read some more. My youngest daughter has type 1 diabetes and when she was initially diagnosed my way to cope was to read as much and as many books as I could on the condition. I guess it makes me feel more at ease when I have somewhat of an understanding of what is occurring.

January 22, 2011

I had my baseline ultrasound on Monday and as usual I have cysts on both ovaries along with a thick lining. The tech asked me if I had done a pregnancy test as she was scanning at which point I almost fell off the table..."Why....What do you see?" Nothing she replies its just that cysts and a thick lining are indicative of pregancy. Huh I wanted to punch her...why would i do a pregnancy test? This is a cycle day three ultrasound..CYCLE...did she miss that word on my chart? Why would I poas if I am having my period? Jeez lady didnt they tell you that you work in a fertility clinic and people are vulnerable and we read into anything that would even remotely fit us into the prego bunch!!!!

Ok I got that outta my system. So I got a call back yesterday from the nicest nurse at the clinic and she went over the plethora of medicines that I will need to start taking...which by the way is not included in the already insane price of the IVF. So I start BCP's on Monday for about 4 weeks and then another U/S to see if the cysts are gone and we can start the meds. I'm excited to be starting the process and also a little scared at the same time. This is it...these are the big guns..nothing left to try medically after this. Btw I got to start lovely prenatal vitamins this morning(thanks V)...I've included a picture..because how boring is a blog with no photos!

January 11, 2011

I finally made the call to my RE to get the ball rolling on our first IVF. I guess I was hoping for a miracle BFP on this break cycle. Unfortunately I have my classic pms symptoms...backache, bloated belly and of course the prerequisite zit...great. I'm a little more bummed than usual. I guess I never thought that we would have to actually do IVF. Jeez and to think I actually snubbed my nose at people who did IVF..I thought they were playing god with science when it came to baby-making. I now understand the desperation and if the only option we have left is IVF then bring it on. I dread the day that I will have to mail the check for this POSSIBILITY of having a baby it really is an incredible amount of money and I think of all the other uses it could be put towards. But then I realize that I have a right to my own dreams and we can always make more money. Well I should be starting my dreaded AF any day now. Of course its going to torture me and be delayed simply because I want to get going on making some petri-dish babies!!!

January 4, 2011

How exciting! I have a blog!

I decided to create a blog to document our desire and struggle to have a baby. I am always asked by family and friends what the status of our quest is so this will alleviate the need to repeat my story over and over. Not that I mind reiterating but this just seems a little more efficient...and anyone how knows me knows that I am all about getting as much done as humanely possible in a day.
 
A little background info....

Met the man of my dreams....married him! He loves kids and is absolutely wonderful with them. I came to the conclusion that after years of avoiding anything remotely baby related that I wanted a little him/her of us both.

We have children from previous marriages...all three are the best. But we both want one together. I want to experience a child with someone whom desires it and would be an amazing dad.


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